Friday, August 10, 2012

Rough Draft (COA)

  There I was in the corner of the classroom in 2003, while all the other first graders talked to each other, laughing and smiling. Me, Taira Guzman out of all people was a very very shy person. I didn't like to converse with other people. I would always go to class by myself, eat lunch by myself, and did group projects alone. I always had a mind set that no one liked me but, I wasn't for sure why. With that in mind, I distanced myself from people and sometimes teachers as well. The year 2007, was the year that everything changed.

  I arrived bright and early for the first day of school. It was humid yet windy. As soon as I walked around the corner, a small mob of people came towards me and I panicked. My head went blank and I felt as if I was trapped in a block of ice. They crashed into me and hugged me like there was no tomorrow. "Taira I missed you!" "How was your summer?! I missed you soo much!" "Wow, you changed a lot!" I could hear them yelling all these words as if I was a celebrity. Although, I stood there as if no one was there but me.

  The bell rang and everyone ran to class yet, I was still standing there like a statue. That was until the principal shook me and asked me if everything was okay and to get to class. "RING. . RING!! OK, class we are going to do a..." *The metal door slams wide open and everyone turns around to look at the door* There I stood with wide eyes and a red face. "Sorry I'm late! I just got caught up with some stuff" I said. As I sat down in my seat, one of my classmates from my first grade year spoke to me and said, "It's okay Taira. Everyone has their moments". From that point on, I became more social with people.

  The year 2009, my 7th grade year I attended a private school called Word Of Life Academy (WOLA). I talked to anyone and everyone that was either in my class or friends with my sister. I was able to be comfortable with being myself around people, well my friends for that matter. 

  Now that I'm 14 going on 15, I've grown up and realized that it's good to step out of your comfort zone so that you can experience new things. Just like how I became more sociable with other people. I've also realized that when your in a world of loneliness, you don't have that friend to comfort you through your agonizing pain.

  

3 comments:

  1. Your introduction made was very descriptive. You told me what you saw and what you heard. I was able to point a mental picture in my mind of what you were seeing. The thing that I felt was wwrong with your essay was that some of the words were all over the place. I also didn't know what lesson you learned until you told me at the end. Other than that the essay was good, but needs tweeking.

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  2. Your essay had some very descriptive details, which allowed me visualize what was happening at that time. There were some points of your essay where events were all over the place, which caught me off guard. Other than the parts that needed fixing, you had a good essay. Good job :)

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  3. Please try to elaborate more and how these events have changed you and what you have come to realize about yourself and/or life in general. Do not just keep it for the last paragraph. Good luck!!

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